Ed Miliband, leader of the Labour Party, has announced that he plans to change the UK’s National Anthem if his party wins 2015′s General Election.
Given the massive reforms and enormous shift in the political culture that a Labour victory would represent, spokespeople have said, a new National Anthem would be needed to reflect the new state of Britain.
Miliband has sought a break with the past - both of the country’s recent “neoliberal” free-market consensus and of Labour’s flirtation with electability under the New Labour brand.
As flagship policies, Miliband intends to reintroduce price controls and rent controls. He has also pulled economic planning out of its grave and attempted to bring ‘industrial strategies’ and nationalisation back into fashion.
As such, the new National Anthem will reflect what Britain, and particularly its economy, will look like after 2015.
The Libertarian can exclusively reveal the tune that will be used:
In a fortunate twist of fate, this song has also been described as the “perfect summation of Miliband’s own personality, career, appearance, style, and image”.
Indeed, it has been said that Miliband himself considers it to be a kind of “personal theme” that he plays on his i-Pod to get “in the zone” before appearing in public.
Unfortunately, Labour have no idea what the lyrics to the new tune will be. A spokesman rejected the notion that this was also a reflection of Labour’s policies.
Miliband himself has been quoted as saying:
“This amazing tune perfectly sums up everything that I and my own brand of social democracy are all about. It conveys both the energy and direction that I wish to bring to this country. As Labour wishes to forge One Nation, we believe we need another big statement to indicate just how serious we are. This expresses the kind of real change Labour stands for. This, like all of our other flagship publicity stunts, is not a gimmick.”
Before adding, unsolicited:
“I’m a socialist”, and, “These strikes are wrong”.
Miliband hopes that this new announcement may be able to change the fact that voters do not take him seriously.